Great Expectations:  Today I had planned to continue to explore the Foundation of the House we are building in The Family Workshop – hearing and doing.  But after a heartfelt convo with my Sweetie, I thought it was more important to create a few public service announcements geared toward making the most of the holiday season.  I am all for thriving not just surviving!

…but I must confess a few things first:

Thanksgiving.

• It is a wonderful holiday and it always sneaks up on me.  Didn’t we just get past Halloween?
• I love, love Christmas and am tempted to gloss right over Thanksgiving to get to it.
• I do not like turkey and I do not cook it – my hubby makes it or, sometimes, we are blessed to be invited over to someone’s house who does make turkey.  I always eat just a bit of the bird…seems unpatriotic to skip it entirely.
• I am a fan of side dishes – if I could figure out how to make a turkey out of artichokes, I might actually enjoy it.

Christmas.

• I love hymns.  I love a candle-lit service.  I love homemade goodies.  I love driving around with kids in their PJ’s looking at Christmas lights.  I love seeing the house decorated and smelling a real tree.  Sigh.
• We have a fake tree.  Fake garland.  Fake wreaths.  Fake, fake, fake.  Only the allergies are real!
• I love Christmas.  But I dread it too.  it is my favorite time of year, but I usually end up wishing it would hurry up and get finished.

Here is what I was telling my husband today: every woman I know really well, has some dread of the holidays, to varying degrees.  How about you, dear one? Are you like me?  Do you have a love-hate relationship with the holidays?  Are you feeling anxiety in the pit of your stomach instead of peace?  Or are you overcome with depression rather than joy?  Or both?

Most of what I dread has to do with my expectations and with placing my hope in people instead of the LORD.

 Today, let’s talk about expectations.  Whether our childhood memories of the holidays are wonderful or dreadful, we cannot expect our spouse or, even the family that lived those memories with us, to have the same feelings as we do, about the holidays.  Maybe your in-laws or your co-workers “ruin” the season for you?  Do you have a close friend that has disappointed you?  Is your spouse a scrooge?  Do your grown children cause you to celebrate holidays in a different way than you had pictured when they were younger, and at home?

So…first let’s adjust our expectations.  I think that we all can agree that our culture has got it all wrong.  We have moved beyond the stress of not living up to the “Norman Rockwell” images of the holidays.  Now, we have a more superficial and unattainable standard: HGTV and Food Network.  Name your favorite magazine, mine is Southern Living, and think of all the decorating, the crafts, the recipes, and the holiday traditions they display…we love them!  And yet all these things can make us feel that, somehow, our family is the only one not getting it right.  Pinterest?  Fuhgettaboutit!  Wipe the slate clean.  Then, forget your sad memories.  And for now, forget your good memories as well, because they create high expectations too.

Let’s ask ourselves – what is God’s expectation of me and my family for this holiday?  Here are some suggestions:

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore [others] on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20).

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful (Colossians 3:12-15).

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8).

And so we must accept that God’s plan for us during the holidays is the same as His plan for us every day…that we would seek to honor and glorify Him and not ourselves, that we would point others toward Him, and that when we are overwhelmed, we would hide ourselves in Him.

Some points worth remembering:

• If someone seems to be getting the better of you – maybe you must bow to their schedule, maybe you must accept their traditions, maybe you have been overlooked, or picked on, by an old frenemy…God is still on the throne.  Think of Joseph’s perspective in Egypt after all those terrible things happened to him: As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20).  We belong to Him and nothing and no one can thwart His plan for us.
• Forget what is fair or unfair – this is your real enemy!  The LORD decides, not what is “fair”, but what is best for us.  Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  And not one of them is forgotten before God.  Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows (Luke 12:6-7).  He knows us better than anyone and will give us exactly what we need (even if it is not what we expected).
• Sometime we try to hide ourselves by overindulging…comfort food, spending sprees, alcohol…God’s plan to rescue us is bigger than that, and it is not futile, or temporary, or harmful to us.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
• Ultimately, it comes down to trusting Him with our expectations by allowing that He plans our holiday, our every day.  And trust comes from knowing His character – He is good, He is powerful and He is wise.  Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:27).

And [Jesus] took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me” (Luke 22:19).  Here is what I am trying to remember: His sacrifice allows us to find safety in our relationship with God, rather than condemnation.  Some people you encounter, some things you say or think about yourself…these may suggest to you that you fall short of “the standard”, but do not forget what a price Jesus paid to give us freedom from condemnation.  Do not forget His love for you.  Remember it and share it with someone else.  Give grace as freely you have been given it.

justAgirl…just like you.

P.S. Dealing with difficult people this week?  Please check out my dear friend’s post by clicking here, she really has some great suggestions!