And I know He Watches Me…

I slept in my little guy’s room last night.  He is not so little anymore (he is 10 years old now).  But he has asthma, so when it acts up, he is my baby again. Last night I typed most of this blog post from under the covers in the second bed in my son’s room.  The Lord provided us with two twin beds for Josh’s room the year that he got very sick and, though he is not very sick tonight, I am thankful once again to sleep in a bed, rather than on the floor.

There was a time when I thought our lives would never be the same.  I slept in his room for 2 months straight. It was an easily remedied problem…it just took me that long to diagnose it and to convince the doctors to give us the right medicine!  His violent cough created a problem with GERD and that resulted in a verrrry sensitive gag reflex and all of this made his cough more terrible.  Let’s just say it was a season of no birthday parties, no restaurant visits, and even going to the grocery store was harrowing experience.  I ordered emesis bags designed for chemo therapy patients…and we waited, and worried, and watched him…what else could we do?

Every night after I tucked him in, I waited the approximately one and one-half hours till he started having trouble.  And I worried as I waited.  And then I watched him suffer and struggle…coughing, gagging, not breathing right…it was excruciating.

I couldn’t help him.  But I couldn’t turn away.  One ER doctor told me to just go back to my room, turn off the monitor, and get some sleep. I was horrified.

When someone you love is sick, you can’t bear to watch.  Yet you cannot look away, not for one second.

It reminds me that the Lord does not leave His children alone either. He doesn’t have to worry or wait like we do. He watches over us, not out of fear, but as a faithful steward. “Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand” (Psalm 121:4-5, ESV).

God’s loving care over us makes me think of the following verse and the song that was inspired by it:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31, ESV).

On Piano for All Occasions, Lyrics & History, I loved reading about how Civilla Martin came to write the lyrics to the song “His Eye is on the Sparrow.” Here is her account:

“Early in the spring of 1905, my husband and I were sojourning in Elmira, New York. We contracted a deep friendship for a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle, true saints of God.

Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for nigh twenty years. Her husband was an incurable cripple who had to propel himself to and from his business in a wheel chair. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them.

One day while we were visiting with the Doolittles, my husband commented on their bright hopefulness and asked them for the secret of it. Mrs. Doolittle’s reply was simple: “His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.”

The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith gripped the hearts and fired the imagination of Dr. Martin and me. The hymn “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” was the outcome of that experience.”

Here is a modern rendition of that song, by the group Selah.  Enjoy!

Are you are having a hard day, or did you have a long night, last night?  Just know that you are not, or were not, alone.  His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.  And you too!