This past week I have been crafting what I am calling The Homebuilders Agreement. In our project called The Family Workshop, my husband and I are redoubling our efforts to build our house upon the Word of God. Building your house upon the Word requires hearing and doing the Word: Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock (Matthew 7:24-25).
The Homebuilders Agreement is similar to the contract you enter into when you are building a home. All the parties must agree on the terms and conditions in order to begin work. Well as I put this document together, I realized I was caught in a difficult position. On the one hand the LORD has given me an idea born out of experience, a teaching, that I want to convey in this document and that I want to share with you. On the other hand, the LORD has given me a husband, who is the rightful leader of our family. Every time I wrote the word “we”, I felt a conflict between my role and my vision. My discomfort did not come from anything my husband said about roles, but more so what I knew that LORD expects: let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33). Yet, I feel equally burdened by the beauty of the idea and the feeling that I have to try, even if I fail at times, to express it.
Eureka! Today I saw clearly what the LORD told me for quite some time. He has told me, “You have two children, not three. It is MY job to instruct your husband.” Isn’t it the Curse of Eve (Gen 3:16)? Don’t we often find ourselves, even when we have to best of intentions, wandering into the territory of the power struggle? And it chafes. It irritates on both sides – this is because it is not God’s way (Eph 5:22-24).
So I guess this is my first lesson in The Family Workshop, for myself and maybe for you, too? It starts with me! And isn’t this true in every area of life? I cannot control the behaviors of others, not my husband’s and not my children’s…and sometimes I have a hard time with my own! In fact God does not want me to try to control anything – He is the One who has the plan and He is the One with the wisdom and the goodness to carry it out. Trusting all of this to Him is the key to real peace! You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You (Isaiah 26:3)
So in the end, I determined to re-write the agreement with the individual in mind knowing that every marriage and family is made up of individuals, who are each personally accountable to God. Long story, short: I am posting about this agreement thingy later this week and I would love to hear what you, as an individual, think about it, when I do! 😉
justAgirl…just like you!