My sweet friend Kortnee has an eye that notices the little things and a heart that feels the big things. We are blessed that she writes about them here. Please make her feel welcome by posting a comment below!
In a month and a half a dear friend of mine is getting married. They actually have a really sweet love story that began when they were 12. The Lord has blessed this couple immensely and it’s beautiful watching them love each other and their Savior.
This last week we celebrated this young woman’s journey into marriage by showering her with love, gifts, and wisdom. All of us bridesmaids got to meet each other and get to know each other better. Pretty soon we will all gather around again to lift her up into marriage. It’s coming soon. It’ll come faster than she realizes. In a matter of weeks she will no longer be wearing white and she will start settling into life, marriage, and sanctification at it’s finest.
But she will still need to be lifted up.
We all do. We need to be reminded that our marriages are normal. It’s normal to argue. It’s normal to be annoyed. It’s normal to start the day with a harsh word, agonize over it when you’re apart, struggle through dinner, and go to bed upset. It’s normal. You’re a normal wife. What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? (Romans 6:1-2)
Unfortunately, sin in marriage is normal. Paul David Tripp says “The DNA of sin is selfishness.”
But we can’t stop there. I encourage you, beautiful married woman of God, keep going. Don’t rest until you find a place of forgiveness forgiving your husband and seek God’s forgiveness for yourself. Allow God’s Word to sanctify you. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you (James 4:10).
And beautiful engaged women of God, don’t be discouraged when things happen to change. Your relationship will go through a lot of changes after you say your vows. You’ll start to see your spouse in a different light. You’ll question if getting married was the right thing to do. You’ll be irritated by things that were once the most adorable things in the world. But the biggest change that will happen: your love will grow deeper.
By being together more often you will start to sharpen each other. You both play a huge part of each other’s sanctification process. The Lord will use both of you to make the other one more holy.
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17
I pray that we can all remember that we are not alone. Engaged women, you will not be alone. Married ladies, you are not alone. Millions of brides stand with you. As you say your vows or remember them, have a sense of confidence that you are walking in the paved path of many before you.
Ask for help.
Seek counsel.
Don’t give up.
Accept forgiveness.
Walk in humility.
You can do it.
You’re not alone.
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
Gail Howitt says
Great job Kortnee!
Kortnee Howitt says
Eeeee, thanks! 🙂
Courtney says
Kortnee, Where were you my first rodeo?! As a married women going through a divorce, all of these are true. Disclamer… just because these happen in my marriage and some of them led to sin and eventual divorce proceedings does not mean that all marriages will end in divorce! Instead of praying for each other and with each other, we turned against each other. We listened to the flesh and sins. We forgot about God. Now that I know everything through trial and error, I would and will do things differently IF there’s a second time around. Ladies, I encourage you to stay in the Word. Find another married and saved couple to pray with and encourage you to continue to fight for the marriage when things get though. It’s some days you will not like your spouse, but remember that God assembled the union. Let no one or nothing destroy that! 🙂
Kortnee Howitt says
Courtney, thank you so much for your insight! I think you mentioned something super important that I forgot about. It is really helpful to have another, more mature and seasoned, Christian couple to mentor and walk through everything with
Jodi says
Beautiful words, Kortnee.
Kortnee Howitt says
Thank you, Jodi!