Sometimes we believe, sometimes we hope, that Proverbs 22:6 is a guarantee. Like, if we sow enough good seed, we will see the result we were hoping for… but sometimes we don’t get what we expect.
A heartbroken friend confided in me about her wayward son. And this may happen to any one of us: when he is bigger than you, the seed you carried for nine months—the seed, still planted in your heart—he may produce thorns, that pierce you a bit.
And I had to tell her about one of my most terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days.
Momma was going to start chemo the next day. The morning had been especially frustrating. I traveled two hours to reach her house, arriving appallingly late…arriving after little people lost pencils, homeschool supplies stayed home, teeth remained unbrushed and medicine was forgotten. Picking up our lunch, I had a near meltdown at the Wendy’s drive-up window following a customer-service-nightmare. When Momma needed me to bring her to get blood drawn, the battery in my car died. I was over 100 miles from home. None of my family could help me.
I was at my wit’s end. I felt forgotten by the Lord. I was confused about why the day had gone so badly. Someone reminded me I had AAA (I was so flustered I had completely forgotten that I had free towing and roadside assistance).
Against all my plans, and when I needed it most, God sent an epiphany in a Dickie’s uniform. The battery specialist was professional, efficient and courteous. In fact, he was downright cheerful. He was an older African American man who had attended Seminary and was a deacon in his church. We talked about faith and families. His kids were all grown, so he had a lot of experience and wisdom. He was just so kind.
As he diligently brought my car back to life, he said something that I will never forget:
“You’ve heard about this Proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it; well, most people get it wrong. This promise is not really so much a quid pro quo. It is not a guarantee that your child will never go his own way. What happens is that the teaching never leaves the child. The Word and the Spirit keep after them, no matter where they go.”
God’s Word, when sown, does not return void, but it accomplishes what it was intended to do (Is 55:11). In the same way, during terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad times, appearances may not be very “pretty,” but sometimes that is what it looks like when God’s will prevails. There will be times when we try hard to do everything “right,” yet it seems that everything goes “wrong.”
We never know how our love, teaching or sacrifices will be received. We cannot do the “right” things in relationships in order to get particular results. We must do the “right” things to honor Him, and leave the rest up to Him. The people belong to Him, the plans are His. Thankfully, He can be trusted with both.
Image credit: nagydodo / 123RF Stock Photo
Linking up at:
Thank you so much – that was amazing. This hit home – I have a boy just turned 12 (but feels like 16 to me) a good boy but it’s a scary time when you see the man emerging and them wanting to go there own way. Great encouragement to me – thank you!! Your neighbour at Three Word Wednesday this week.
Thank you so much for stopping by Tracey! 🙂
Great post, friend!
My heart was broken while reading Give Them Grace, by the reminder that there are no guarantees. We like to convince ourselves that there are, but there aren’t. And God may be best glorified by us having prodigal children. That’s a tough truth to accept, but it is truth none the less.
God’s Word is perfect.
People aren’t.
Thanks! I must say – I had some trouble with Give Them Grace for a few reasons and that portion was one of the reasons. I read another older book by Andrew Murray that compares our families to Noah’s Ark: “By faith Noah prepared an ark for the saving of his house” (Hebrews 11:7). God always gives grace in proportion to the duty He imposes. The believing parent must live, act, and pray with and for his children, as one who is assured that his children are meant of God to be there in the ark with him. Let us confidently trust God for the salvation of every child. Let us instruct and inspire our children with this thought in mind.” (pg. 23 Raising Your Children for Christ). Andrew Murray says this too: If God, by direct intervention or by special agents, were to seek the salvation of little ones, the there would be no reason for parents to take part in the covenant. God’s purpose in honoring the parents in this way is to permit him to train the child for God. God seeks a people on earth, and the family is the institution for this purpose. Believing and devoted parents are one of the mightiest means of grace” (pg. 37). Andrew Murray was a Reformed minister who believed wholly in the Sovereignty of God, but also in searching the Word to know and trust in His character.
Ultimately, God is Sovereign and we cannot know His will, but He has dealt faithfully again and again with those who love Him…I think my feeling is more that, in giving them the Word, we give them the best opportunity to know Him, and we must leave the rest up to Him. I am wholly convinced that He asks us to “train them diligently” for both their benefit and our own. I feel that His Word is the powerful and compelling agent that go with them when they have left us.