Funny how we just can’t wait till our kids can talk…when they are babies we strain to hear that magic word, “Ma-Ma”, and usually get “Da-Da” instead.  Ironic really, when you consider the morning sickness, the 40 weeks, the labor, the sleepless nights – God keeps us humble that’s for sure.  But then the family names don’t really count.  How we long to hear that first “real” word!  Once they do it – we’re on our way.  We sing the ABC song and keep an inventory of vocabulary words to report at each well-visit…then it’s, “Are they speaking in sentences yet?”  And almost as soon as they learn to talk, we start trying to keep them quiet, “Shhh!”.  Nowadays I tell my elementary-age kids they need to use the “library voice” when they are being too loud at the wrong time or place.  My Sweet Girl is a bit shy, so I often have to tell her to speak up when others ask her questions, while my Sweet Boy is so outgoing, I have to tell him to keep it short.  Every child is so different!

Every one of God’s children is different too.  I have a wonderful friend who has just stepped into a position of leadership due to her husband’s position in the military.  When your military husband lands the job of being a Commanding Officer, Executive Officer, Commander, Deputy Commander, Senior Non-Commisioned Officer or Non-Commissioned Officer In Charge – the particular title depends on the branch of service  and the rank – you, as the military spouse, land a job as well.  So my dear friend is now the leader of the spouses group, the head of fund raising, a family counselor, in charge of the welcome wagon, the contact person for everything, a liaison between the spouses of the military members and the military, an organizer of children’s programming and the director of anything else that falls between the cracks.  Whew!  And she is the sweetest, most gentle person I know.  Here is what she said about her new job:

I’m a little nervous about the whole thing.  I know that God can use me in this roles as a leader.  It’s a challenging place to be right now, but in our weakness He is strong, right?!

I found the timing of this to be amazing!  God is giving her the opportunity to use her voice – to lead…Lately God has been showing me that I need to do the opposite, to learn to be quiet.  Here is a great scripture that I ran across the other day: Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind (Ecc 4:6).  The Lord has been showing me so many scriptures on being quiet!  I remember a great sermon by a visiting pastor in our old church.  He was opening up the story of Mary and Martha in a new way.  He read the bible passage about Jesus visiting the home of Mary and Martha from Luke Chapter 10.  It is such a familiar story.  Martha was exhausting herself trying to be the consummate hostess while Mary sat, soaking up the presence of the Lord.  Martha complained and Jesus defended Mary’s choice.  But what did Mary say?  Here was the stunner for me because I had never thought to ask that before…  She said: nothing that we know of.  She was, apparently, quiet.  Mary did not defend herself when she was called out, right in front of the Lord!  But because she was quiet, it allowed Jesus to address the conflict Himself.  How many times have I jumped to my own defense? We urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one (ESV 1 Thes 4:10-12)  How many times have I felt just had to explain myself, to make sure I am completely understood? Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray (ESV Job 6:24).  What would happen if I prayed and let Jesus intercede for me? What would happen if I trusted Jesus to take care of things as He sees fit, on His timetable, on His terms?  It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD (ESV Lam 3:26). What if I used Jesus’ own life as my example for how to deal with unfair treatment?  He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth (ESV Isaiah 53:7).

As for my friend, here is what I told her  via email:

Funny how God is calling me to quietness (this is such a stretch for me!!!!) and for you to find your voice 🙂  I thought of how you don’t see yourself as a leader, or strong, however what you have is a quiet strength.  I think you can draw on your experiences in sports – teams are one way God shows us how we can to work with others to accomplish goals.  Teams are a much better experience for everyone than dictatorships.  But leading a team is not passive.  It requires encouraging people, and constant follow up, and sometimes you have to clean up someone else’s mess.  Sometimes it requires us to see in others things that they don’t see in themselves.  Another thing to remember: you have a larger goal to accomplish (like raising funds etc); but along the way, remember that God will show you other goals – drawing people together to work toward a common goal develops friendships between people and confidence in individuals and makes individuals into a community – these things point to the real business that we are to be about: ministering to the people that God has put in our lives for that year, that week, that project, that minute.  You have all that you already need – you just need to relax and listen to God as He directs you.  Your leadership does not have to look like what anyone else thinks of as leadership – but rather what God has planned for you to accomplish.  If you keep your mind and heart set on pleasing Him, you will not disappoint Him; so try not to worry too much about the others!

God knows you because you are His child.  He knows if you need to learn to be quiet or to learn to speak up.  Either way, we must all be listening to get feedback from Him. The opportunities He gives us in our lives give us an indication of the direction He would like us to take.  In your life, do feel like you are talking till you are blue in the face, yet no one is listening?  Maybe you need to be quiet and let Jesus take up for you.  He can change someone’s heart or mind much more easily than you can – sometimes He will just solve the problem by changing your heart instead.  Or are you being put into uncomfortable positions of leadership and responsibility, or in the place to speak up for yourself or someone else?  Still the answer is the same, let God lead you first and then you may be able to lead others.  God’s Word shows has the same answer for those who must learn to be quiet as for those who must learn to speak up: Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones (ESV Prov 3:4-6).

JustAgirl…just like you!

P.S. Countdown to our new study: 3 days – be sure you have the book (available instantly as an ebook) and that you start the devotional Monday morning (to work on it M-F mornings)or Sunday (to work on it Sun-Thu nights).  Plan to have the book, your bible, a notebook and 15-20 minutes of quiet time.  I will chime in regularly here (so be sure that you are signed up for the email and signed in to the website – visit the left sidebar of the Welcome Page to do this)  I really want your input so we can have dialogue here rather than a monologue.  But you will benefit most from your time alone with the Lord studying His Word – so get ready now!