“I remember the devotion of your youth,
your love as a bride,
how you followed me in the wilderness,
in a land not sown.
Israel was holy to the Lord,
the firstfruits of his harvest.
All who ate of it incurred guilt;
disaster came upon them,
declares the Lord.”

“What wrong did your fathers find in me
that they went far from me,
and went after worthlessness, and became worthless? (Jeremiah 2:1-5)

Here is the beginning of my last Sunday school lesson.  Our teacher, Mike, distilled a longer passage down to this and a bit more.  But this portion is what really stuck with me.  Historically, this passage is about the nation of Israel.  But do you hear Him whispering to you, like I do?  Is this a familiar refrain?

The Lord longs for relationship with me, and with you.  As a husband longs for his Bride, so He longs for us.  He wants a passionate relationship with us.  As for me, I know I am the best version of me when the LORD is my first and my last thought, and when He is in every other thought in between.

Instead, sometimes I hurry through life – desperate to keep on schedule, desperate to cross things off my list.  Some days I am frantic.  I create impossible to-do lists and then wallow in my failure.  There is no room for Him in my overwhelmed mind.  This is always the time when my sweet mother asks me, “Are you spending enough time with the Word?”  She doesn’t rebuke me.  She calls me home.  She throws me a life preserver.

Truth?  I have not been seeking the LORD’s Face as diligently as I should.  I have been getting quick sips of the Living Water rather than the long, deep drinks that refresh and revive.

The last part from Jeremiah is what caught my attention in class this week: went after worthlessness, and became worthless.  I have struggled with feelings of worthlessness my whole life.  That story is too long to tell.  A few years ago, I learned that low self-esteem is rooted in pride, and I determined to keep those thoughts at bay when they came to call.  But the oldest voices, the familiar ones, ring so true and the negative self-talk returns stealthily, just a whisper at first, and grows to a shout gradually.  That shout, those harsh self- assessments, drown out the Word, distracting me further.

But here is the epiphany I had on Sunday – maybe it will make sense to you, too?  When we feel downtrodden and worthless, maybe it is because we are trying to find our worth in worthless pursuits?  Pleasing people, seeking after material goods, endless organizing and serving our schedules – these things do not have eternal value.  Desiring God, as a bride desires her groom, is what has eternal value.

•  For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ (Gal. 1:10)
• “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matt. 6:19-20)
• Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind (Ecc. 4:6)

This is the simplest of solutions.  Maybe you think I am silly not to have seen it before.  But that is the beauty of the Word.  I have read that passage several times before but now, when I needed to hear it, I heard something new, to me, in it.  It is a reminder to me of something I already knew: when I feel inadequate, I need to remember Who makes me whole; when I feel unworthy, I need to remember Who makes me righteous; when I feel overwhelmed, I need to remember Who has already won the victory.  This recipe for Peace has been handed down through my family from my grandmother, to my mother, to me (and to my sister):

• Start with the best ingredients:
  • a quiet place and time: But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father Who is in secret. And your Father Who sees in secret will reward you (Matt 6:6).
  • a contrite heart: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise (Psalm 51:17).
  • a right attitude: if My people who are called by My name humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land ( 2 Chro 7:14).
  • a desire to spend time with Him, for the sake of relationship:  Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the Vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15:4-5)
  • a humble faith: And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him (Heb 11:6).
  • a heaping helping of the Word: For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4).
• Repeat daily

When we pursue worthless things, we feel worthless.  This doesn’t mean we should neglect our bodies or our daily tasks because, though these things do not have eternal value, we must be good stewards of the gifts that God have given us.  Rather, pursuing worthless things means allowing worldly pursuits to occupy our thoughts and time, rather than seeking after Jehovah and asking Him what He wants for our lives.  And what He wants for us is very simple: Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matt 6:33).  

justAgirl…just like you!