My sweet friend Kortnee has an eye that notices the little things and a heart that feels the big things. We are blessed that she writes about them here. Please make her feel welcome by posting a comment below!
In the weeks leading up to today I have heard all kinds of groaning. Lots of my single friends were stressed out or sad that the “Day of Love” was quickly approaching. Some were just desperate to have a Valentine to call their own, but a few wanted to boycott the day altogether (their favorite day of the year is February 15). I have heard very little excitement.
Valentine’s Day can be a difficult day for lots of women. When we’re single, it feels like the rest of the world is happy, and in love, and that our big date night is with dollar store chocolate(s) and Netflix. When we finally get ourselves a man, the week before Valentine’s day is the best week ever. It’s the week after the big day that we are depressed.
The truth is that Valentine’s Day is often a disappointment. So many of us have a lifetime of expectations in our heads. When the reality of that one evening hits, it send us right back to our dollar store chocolates and Netflix.
Attention all my single ladies: married women have bad Valentine’s Days too. And honestly, it has very little to do with our husbands. It has more to do with discontentment, self-centeredness, and pride. It comes from building up fantasies and being selfish. It’s also something that starts with the dollar store chocolates and Netflix.
It starts with Romeo and Juliet, The Notebook, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Dear John, Ghost, Titanic, A Walk to Remember, Love Actually, The Holiday, P.S., I Love You, etc… Our expectations of reality come from fictitious stories writen to make us desire unrealistic relationships.
We start the relationship by fantasizing about some ideal guy. When we finally meet him, we practically expect our hero to swing through buildings and kiss us upside down in the rain, just to make us happy. And really, have you ever kissed upside down? It’s like a normal kiss…but upside down; very unlike it appears!
But the truth is that the best relationships are not about the romance, the dinner, the gifts, or even the chocolate. Now, don’t get me wrong, a little chocolate ain’t bad, right? But the most loving Bible verse isn’t even about any of that!
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
We shouldn’t be thinking about how we can be served, but through love serve one another (Galatians 5:13). So how can we take Jesus’ self-sacrificing love and devotion to His bride and exemplify that? God’s Word tells us:
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another (John 13:34).
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13)
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
From these verses we get the exact description of how we are supposed to act on Valentine’s Day (and on every other day). We are to focus on other people! Love others, look to others’ interests, be kind to others, be nice, rejoice in truth, bear everything, believe, hope, and endure!
What if this was how Valentine’s Day looked?
Gail Howitt says
Kortnee,
Your thoughts about expectations and where they originate (Mostly secular chick flicks) is spot on. Valentines day can be fun but real love has nothing to do with this “one day” we sometimes make our idol. Good thoughts!
Tracy says
So true!!! Thanks!!
Jodi says
Such a great challenge here! I can recall one friend who’s boyfriend surprised her all the time while dating with flowers, sweets, cards, etc and once they married, it abruptly stopped and she was so heart-broken. Sadly, neither of them were thinking about how best to love the other person. Romance movies set such a high standard as at least one of the writers is a woman and she’s fulfilling all her fantasies out on the page and big screen!
For me, it brings me such joy to pour out love on my husband and children, going that extra step to make their day brighter. With kids, you see their faces light up instantly and often get a big hug as a thank you. We don’t do much on Valentine’s Day but I decided to make homemade cinnamon rolls as a special breakfast. Yes, I stayed up a little late last night prepping it after everyone had gone to bed but to hear the “YES!” “Yum” and “Thank you Mom” made it all worth it 🙂