I didn’t mention it here. But last week was a struggle. It was like walking in molasses. In December.
I told my SheSpeaks friend Stacey that, at some point, I just quit setting daily goals because I could only work on an hour to hour basis. I have had bad weeks before – this was different. It was just a “too much” week. Ever had one of those? About Thursday afternoon, I was just Worn.
Ironic really, because our memory verse was: Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe (Phil 2:14-1). Writing about that on Monday was like asking for it. 😉
And then on Wednesday, I included this definition in my post: Discernment: the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure (Merriam-Webster). Well, here was something I could grasp right away: it was time to lower the bar for myself because, on Wednesday, I was still working on most of my Monday list! I was lost, trying to figure out which of the “right” things to do. This is what I was comprehending: Discernment is not a matter of simply telling the difference between what is right and wrong; rather, it is the difference between right and almost right (C. H Spurgeon). How do you know the “right” way to spend your time…when the competing choices are all “good” things?
Sometimes productivity problems don’t have anything to do with wasting time…sometimes you work and work, but don’t really finish anything. Sometimes life’s only constant, is interruption.
Sounds silly, but being overloaded just short circuits my brain a little. When I can’t think quite right, I am reminded that I am utterly dependent upon God. Truth: whether I am coming unglued, or I feel like I have it all together, I am lost without Him.
I keep coming back to this: “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matt 4:4). This was Jesus’ response when He was tempted in the Wilderness.
At another time, Jesus said: “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work.” (John 4:4).
If I can measure the tasks at hand by the standard set by the LORD in His word…that should sustain me… But often I go running for other ways to find peace in chaos, other ways to satisfy my hunger, other ways to make sense of life when life doesn’t make sense:
- Unbelievable lists – the attempt to master an unwieldy day.
- Dark Chocolate or BlueBell ice cream – wanting to pacify hurt, reward hard work, fill the empty…
- Demanding perfection from myself and others – trying to compensate for the imperfections in my life, to remake it, so it (finally) feels comfortable to me.
All of these? They are a rejection of God and His Word…which says:
- I am the LORD, and there is no other, besides Me there is no God; I equip you…that people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides Me; I am the LORD, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, Who does all these things (Is 45:6-7).
- Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand (Prov 19:21).
- In His hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind (Job 12:10).
- But for this purpose I have raised you up: to show you My power, so that My Name may be proclaimed in all the earth (Ex 9:16).
At different times and in different seasons God calls us to new ways. Sometimes we need more structure – sometimes we need more flexibility. And sometimes we just need to listen to that still, small voice…the one that helps us to discern His Will for our day.
I am planning to explore some of these ideas here, over the next few weeks. Meanwhile, I am praying about the direction of the posts I am writing, and the way I spend my time (on all these “good” things)…would you pray for me?
Today, tell me what was last week like for YOU? Quiet or noisy? Orderly or chaotic? Predictable or unexpected? I would love a peek into your world!
Hugs,
Britta ~ I am justAgirl…just like you!
You took the words swimming around in my head this week and put them on paper!
“Discernment is not a matter of simply telling the difference between what is right and wrong; rather, it is the difference between right and almost right.” LOVE THAT!!!
My week has been full of too many good things, as I prepare to lead a team of 40 volunteers next week, as we take 40 foster children to camp…yet at the same time manage all of my normal responsibilities.
I am encouraged to start my day with my list in hand and pray that God will show me what needs to be crossed off…even some good things. I am forever counseling friends that God gives us everything we need to accomplish the tasks He has set for us…that includes TIME! So obviously I need to take my own advice; for if I don’t have enough time then I am filling my time with things that God didn’t make room for in my day. Thank God He grants us new mercies every morning because how that I have a way too long TO DO list I am going to need mercy as I let things go.
Always Sparkle, Lisa Ann
I love this: if I don’t have enough time then I am filling my time with things that God didn’t make room for in my day. Isn’t there a lesson in that? To follow closely and listen well so as to hear from Him. But also, to see that what has has permitted for us may not be beneficial…this is what I need to learn better! 🙂 Praying that your weekend will refresh and make you ready to minister!! Hugs 🙂
Hi Britta! For me, last week was quite, and predictable. Since having my surgery eight weeks ago, I’ve been mostly house bound. I pretty much have the same routine daily… Get up, pray, cook breakfast, help the hubs get off to work, shower, read my bible and devotions, and play on the Internet, watch TV, and wait for the hubs to return. Pretty boring, huh? I treasure the days when our church needs me to volunteer and even going to the store! However, I’m blessed to have this time because I’ve really connected with God in a way I never have before.
House bound is something I can sort of relate to…for me it actually felt good at first and then got to be monotonous. I lived that way when we first moved away from New Orleans (our first duty station). We needed to save money. I had no friends, no job, nothing to do but clean house and shop. I couldn’t justify the shopping and it was so hard to connect with anyone else…don’t get me wrong – it was awesome for about 3 months, because I can be a kind of introvert, but then I didn’t like it.
I am sorry that this is a lonely time. I have had plenty of those in the 19 years I have been married. But traveling thru so many has taught me (1) they really don’t last forever, even when they feel like they will (2) God really is there with you (3) the best part is unraveling the mystery of what He is doing in your life (4) you should write about it, whether you have a blog or not because you will want to look back on all the lessons later – you never want to forget them. I have written journals and then thrown them away months later – too hard to look at them afterward…but I wish I had kept them now.
I am so glad you leave your comments – I have had 2 years of blogging to my Audience of One and some crickets. It is good to get to know you. Women like YOU are why I started doing this 🙂