I guess I have always struggled with my feelings getting the best of me. I can be grouchy. Lately, more and more, feelings of anxiety and defeat try to creep up on me. During difficult periods in my marriage or bad times with my husband’s health, I thought it was just the circumstances.
But now I am fairly comfortable emotionally, and still…sometimes I wake with dread right beside me. Somedays I just feel awkward and shy and want to stick closer to home. I might see new tasks and doubt that I am capable of taking them on.
This is not depression, I have known that dark way too.
These are fleeting moments (or hours) of overwhelming, but unexplainable, grief or loneliness. These unwelcome companions come and go like the wind…but I see patterns. They visit more often at certain times of the month (you know the times) and when I have not eaten well, read my Bible, or prayed. Sometimes my mind just wanders to unhappy places and stays.
These feelings humble me, remind me that I am but dust (Psalm 103:14). They send me right back to the Potter, because He has made this dust into a jar of clay, and filled me with His Spirit…”We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves” (2 Corinthians 4:7, NLT).
Even Paul had a “thorn in the flesh,” a problem that wouldn’t leave him, but he knew that God used it for His purposes. The Lord told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” And Paul’s response? “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ESV).
Feeling small and frail isn’t the worst thing…when it reminds me of how big and awesome God really is. My challenge is to remember to turn to Him when I feel this way. He is my Remedy. He is my joy:
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:1-5, ESV
Turning to the Truth helps me/teaches me to love my life because I am truly blessed! When I rest in Him, I am filled with hope and light and joy, but turning to Him takes practice. I think it is time for me to practice this turning more diligently.
Abiding in Truth
strengthens us for the hard times
and teaches us to Love Life.
I am compiling a list of verses that remind me of His goodness for those times when I feel too small or overwhelmed. When I get the list together, I will make a printable to share 🙂
Do you ever struggle with loneliness, anxiety, fear, grief, lowliness? You are not alone. Jesus was called a Man of many sorrows and was acquainted with grief (Is 53:3). Have you ever used God’s Word to battle your feelings? If so, please share your favorite verses in the comments!